Not Smiling

I can't cheer up. I don't know if this is because of residual pneumonia or some other godawful reason. I am however writing something here, to keep up with my commitment: to write something every day.

Saxon

Russell and I went upstate when Sarah said she was having her labor induced. She let us know that it was going to be a while, so we had something to eat, went to the computer store, the bookstore, and just when we were done, she called me to say she was just about ready.

When we got to the American Fork Hospital, she was fully dilated. Of course she had an epidural, which she and Chris were sure to inform me was now safe and would not affect the baby, and so she could wait for the doctor who was doing a c-section at another hospital.

I sat and waited with Becky, Chris' mom. Chris and Sarah finally decided not to wait anymore for the doctor, so they asked the midwife to come deliver with them. They closed the door and Becky and I listened as she pushed, then delivered, the baby. His cry was very low pitched!

Soon they came out wheeling the baby in this plastic cart, because he looked pale and they wanted to check him. I stayed with Sarah and helped her settle down the shakes as well as helping her when she threw up what she was trying to eat: they broughther a rather dismal roast beef dinner just after delivering.

I got hold of Russell, who was downstairs working on some music, and they brought baby Saxon back. I finally got to hold him! We were just about ready to leave then. I held him and he looked right at me and was making little cooing noises. I could almost not breathe. I went to pass him to Becky to hold, and Saxon turned to me and looked at me full-face, as though he didn't want to leave me. It was astonishing! I didn't want to make too much of it, but everyone was saying how he was talking to me and wanted to stay with me. I just cried. I left the room in tears and found Russell for a big hug. We went downstairs when they took him to be bathed and watched a while, and then left.

Christmas Day Eve

It's getting to be evening and my headache is almost gone and dinner is cooking.
I've committed myself (well, I should commit myself, but then there'd be half a paycheck); let's see. . .I've determined to do some writing every day.
What a counterculture Christmas. All the kids are gone and we napped twice.